


i've caught your fever

by thecoilsofnikolatesla



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, its gay i dont care, some heavyhanded christian imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 23:13:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11816202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecoilsofnikolatesla/pseuds/thecoilsofnikolatesla
Summary: post-end HH, pre-BMJ. the malpais legate and the courier realize how they hold each other in their hearts, some for the first time, some for what feels like the hundredth. something starts.





	i've caught your fever

**Author's Note:**

> i know i need to work on bmj but blhhehhh take this

"Have you ever thought about us?" Tyler asks one night under the Utah starlight. It's a blunt, open-ended question that he asks with his eyes locked on the dancing fire, illuminating his dark eyes for Joshua to see what lay in their depths.

It's ambiguous. Joshua could answer him any way he wanted to, and Tyler could call that his original intent. He knows that's how he planned it.

He should reply ' _I have thought of what we have done together and see a treasured friendship and the potential good we could do in this valley_ '. He wants to reply ' _I have thought of us - you - more than the sun illuminates the sky, and you have been my saving grace in my darkest hour. I do not know who or where i would be without you_ '.

So he falters. Tyler stares still at the fire, not wanting - or perhaps unwilling - to try and read Joshua's eyes.

"What, exactly, do you mean?" he asks, after a short pause.

"Y'know," Tyler says, clarifying nothing.

Joshua lets out a thoughtful sigh, turning away from the fire to look at the sky. "Yes. I have thought about us, many times, in many different contexts. Does that answer your question?"

Tyler takes a second to look away from the fire, and Joshua turns back right as he makes eye contact with a grin. "I shoulda expected that." Joshua makes a small noise of agreement in the back of his throat and stokes the fire even though it really doesn't need it. The courier's eyes remain trained on him.

"Ain't answered the semantics of the question, though."

"Are we arguing semantics now?" Joshua says.

"Sure," Tyler responds. "Semantics can make or break a text. The lady doth protest too much, and that shit." Ah yes, his beloved texts. Joshua settles in for an influx of information on hamlet or something and ends up sorely disappointed when he presses on with his questioning. "But you're avoiding me now. C'mon,  _jefe_  - give it to me straight." Tyler moves from his hunched over position, opting to lay on his side, propped up on an elbow. His eye contact doesn't break. Dark brown eyes trace Joshua's actions, eyes he can't find the bottom of, that he can get lost in. The fire flickering only hints at their depths but makes his hair look like a halo.

Joshua's heart stirs. _The glory of the lord shone around them and they were sore afraid._

"Joshua?"

_And the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy._

"Yes," he says. The word bursts out of his chest like it's been waiting to come out for years. "I've thought of you and how you are closer to me than people who have been in my life for years, people who made my spirit ache at night with their leaving. I think often of how you could cast me away and crush me, but you opt to seek me out instead, and I find I need you more by the day."

A beat. He didn't mean to put his heart out there between them, but there it is. "Huh," Tyler says, and falls silent. Joshua knows it's not the answer he expected but it's the truth.

The night takes over. the crackling of the fire feels louder than before and now he's the one locking his gaze on the flames. The crickets that are lurking in the fringes of the night are almost thunderous in his ears.

After two minutes it's too much. Joshua pulls himself to his feet, his coming years apparent in the creaking in his bones. "I should go check on Daniel, the Sorrows -- they sometimes need assistance scaring back the animals of the valley at night."

"Right," Tyler replies, and when Joshua looks at him he's just as enraptured in the fire as before. "Break a leg."

"I'll do my best to avoid that." He stands, and Tyler breaks his gaze from the fire to look at Joshua. It's a brief glance that breaks quickly as Joshua makes for where he knows Daniel will be.

A hand shoots out and grabs Joshua by the hem of his vest. It's a gentle grab, intentionally so, more of a pat.

"I, uh," the courier starts. He licks his lips and continues in a stuttering voice, almost timid. "Joshua, I... I care about you too. Need you. Too."

Their eyes meet a second time; it confirms something in Joshua's soul, but he doesn't know what. The hand falls back to the ground and Tyler returns to his position propped on his side, facing away from Joshua, hair still a halo from the light in front of him.

Joshua leaves to seek out Daniel, chest feeling tight, realizing - for the first time - the cleansing power of fire.


End file.
